Alive and kicking (sort of)

Hi! Unfortunately Naughty Nightmares is still dead as a doornail, but I have started a new blog under a different name. :)

The blog is only in Finnish and it's about our upcoming wedding on Halloween 2015! I will post about my feelings towards the wedding, all the materialistic loveliness that goes with the occasion and also some about fitness... at least. :) So, if you still want to tag along, you are most welcome!

*click* Suden morsian *click*

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

Hi there.

On New Year's Eve 2010 I decided to finally start my own blog and now, two years later on New Year's Day I have decided that this is the end of this journey for me. It has been fun to record my life more or less publicly and blogging has taught me many things about life. One of which is the fact that recording everything you do is sometimes really hard and troublesome, at least for me and right now I just want to concentrate on living itself and not so much on writing about it. This is largely due to the fact, that I have less free time now, or actually I have more important things to do on my free time than blogging.

During the past two years I have realized how important it is, even for me, to sometimes just take time for myself, to do nothing, if I don't feel like it. Last week I realized it has probably been over a year since I've had time for just day dreaming and I realized how much I've missed it, how much I need it. Quoting a character in a book I'm currently reading: "Daydreamers alone are truly alive". The past year has been mostly survival for me. I have concentrated fully to achieve my goals and succeeded. I have graduated, found a job that I love, published a comic book, found a new home, adopted a new family member, started doing burlesque and managed to finally beat hyperthyreosis. Now that I have everything I could possibly want, I feel empty. I'm happy and proud of what I have become, but now it's time to enjoy the fruits of my hard work, and get to know the person who I have become along the way again.

As a sort of a new years resolution I promise I'll try to remember to enjoy the ride as much as the destination. I'll try to surround myself with things that make me happy, and remove things that don't, without guilt. I want to make art just for fun again as well as for some purpose, I want to read stupid, non educational fantasy books, play games: Skyrim, Pokémon, Magic the Gathering, pen & paper D&D, hang out with friends without a strict schedule, pet the cat as long as he wants, sleep all day, party all night, work overtime if I feel like it or take time off when deserved. This year and I hope from this year forward my aim will be purely on my happiness and I want to wish the same to you, dear readers. Thank you for your kind words, comments and everything. ♥

This is the end of this blog, but for those who still want to follow my life I still have profiles on Facebook and Instagram. Maybe I'll start blogging again in the future, I don't know, but for now I need to take time from somewhere and eliminate things that stress me. I don't quite know how to put this, so maybe I'll just quote someone wiser again:

 

The Road goes ever on and on 

Down from the door where it began. 

Now far ahead the Road has gone, 

And I must follow, if I can, 

Pursuing it with eager feet, 

Until it joins some larger way 

Where many paths and errands meet. 

And whither then? I cannot say. 

-Bilbo Baggins- 

Everybody scream!

Monday. Usually Monday is just another day for me. I don't hate them and usually I feel pretty rested after the weekend so they tend to just fly by. Today however the day felt more like a stereotypical Monday. I had to do so much research for a project at work and it took way longer than I had expected and then the results weren't that pleasing either, bah! But tomorrow I'll roll my sleeves again and get working, at least now I have a plan, even if it took the whole day to figure it out.

However new pieces of clothing always have the power to cheer a girl up, don't they? Well they do, if they fit... I ordered some pretty expensive (=overpriced) items from lip service last week and today they arrived. I'll make an official post about them later, but now I must rant! I checked out their size chart as I always do and everything was supposed to fit well. The jacket I ordered did, pretty well at least, but the pants... well, otherwise as expected but the waist was like enormous compared to the size they give out. Like seriously, the pants are size small, but the waist is more like a large, wtf?! See for yourself:

So, I had to take up needle work once again and do something about that by hand (my sewing machine has been broken for ages now and I have no idea how to fix it, probably have to take it somewhere to be repaired...). The pants are wearable, but they still sag a bit and there is pretty much nothing I can do about that, since the size difference was so huge... well, I could if I was more skilled, but I suck at sewing really. I'm pretty bummed about this though, since they were a really expensive pair of pants so you kind of expect that they are what you ordered, right? Have you had similar troubles with Lip? I have managed to avoid them so far, but these pants were definitely a disappointment.

Well, if the new clothes didn't manage to cheer me up, the next weekend will for sure! Once again there is the IIK!! horror movie festival at Ii and I'll be working there (and watching movies on my free time of course!). This year we have some very interesting pieces, including Carrie, Blood for Dracula, Kiss of the Damned and Orlacs Hände. Ooooooh I can hardly wait! I hope Mr. Wolf will attend also as a guest and join in for a movie or two, I do love movie dates. ♥ If you happen to be around, join in as well. You can view the full list of movies here and buy the tickets in advance as well. :)

Darker side of life

Hi again (so soon too)! I wanted to drop by to talk a little about how I have been recently and simultaneously upload some Instagram photos here as well.

So, the last couple of months have been super busy for me, with my new job, burlesque gigs and everything that comes with that as well. Next weekend I'm going to go visit my parents and in-laws, maybe some friends as well if I have time. Last time I visited my parents maybe six weeks ago or so. This picture pretty much sums up my visits there. Good food, good reading, relaxing and having a good time with relatives and friends. Somehow I find that the actual physical distance of my life here really is the best way for me to relax. ♥

...Although I have found ways to relax here at home as well. Good red wine always helps!

I have been forced to find time to relax on my own when I can. Sort of force-relaxation you know? :D I have had so little time to relax that I have actually had to put that on my calendar, haha.

During the comic festival week I was at Valve (a youth culture center here in Oulu), drawing comics with people, mostly children. There was this awesome 3-year old kid who, like, scribbled something at first, then took a red marker and started coloring EVERYWHERE. After like five minutes or so, he suddenly said: "Bwahaha, he died!". :D Ahhhhh, such cool kid. Reminded me of my own childhood... ;3

Last weekend we were celebrating Halloween at Heta's place. I guess it became a sort of unofficial North Finland Goth Bloggers Meet or something, since Horros and Sereijan were there as well, along with other cool people (It was so nice to finally meet you for real!!). I went there as a succubus, since I wanted something comfy and simple. Damn me for not taking a decent picture of my outfit, but here's one of my makeup and horns. Haha, we are pretty drunk at Hevimesta in this pic, lol. We had really awesome time there, huge thanks to lovely Heta.♥ 

Oh my, look at the time! I'm gonna go to sauna to my neighbor's place today, actually I was supposed to be there already... yikes! Now, better go! So long! (Ignore the stupidly arranged paragraphs, they just won't go the way I want~)

Edit: Totally forgot this, but remembered again in the sauna: if somebody is interested in following me on Instagram, my alias there is batsinthe_belfry. Go follow! ♥

Summer tidings

It seems that finally autumn has arrived and summer is just a warm memory for the next seven to eight months... sigh. I really should be going to sleep by now, but I thought that I'd drop by first to post some Instagram photos ranging from May to September, to reminisce the past, wonderfully warm and sunny summer and welcome the darker seasons again.

In May we celebrated the anniversary of our engagement. ♥ That chocolate cake was pretty good and we ate it at our favorite café called Bisketti. :)

In August for some reason I got inspired and did my nails! I'm usually super lazy with them and just paint them plain black most of the time but this was a nice exception for that. :)

August was really productive month for me, well, except work-wise (or maybe because of that, hahaha!) and I even had time to pluck berries at our summer cottage. ♥

In August there was also the Night of the Arts and I was there also, this time illustrating post cards and fridge magnets with guys from Oulu Comic Club. That triskele skull I made for Mr. Wolf. :3

I guess Mr. Wolf must have loved this little gift, since soon after he took me to dinner at Harald! It is a viking themed restaurant and really good at least here in Oulu! I had salmon, vegetaables, this pancake thing and cider, nom nom nom!

We have also traveled a bit, with Béla of course. He seemed a bit bored at our in-laws, poor thing. :D Should have brought his toys with us I guess... :3

This same weekend we were spending time at our summer cottage, celebrating the season ending. I simply love being there, I wish I could stay there longer and more often.

The ending of summer season also means a bonfire. It is so beautiful when all people there at their own cottages light bonfires and candles and it all reflects to the pitch black sea... love it. ♥

 Just a little while ago we went to movies! I love eating Ben & Jerry's at the movies with that adorable shovel... haha! We watched RED 2 and actually I liked it really much! Over the top, but just the right way!

Finally, last Saturday I spent a couple of hours at Fantasiapelit Oulu, selling vanity press edition comics, made be me and bunch of other cool people. We sell them there every third Thursday of the month, if somebody's interested in coming. :) There was also some sort of Magic the Gathering tournament at the same time, which seemed quite fun, so if I dare I think I'll take part in that at some point also!

So, my summer in a nutshell, or at least some highlights. How was your summer, dear readers and are you looking forward to autumn and winter? Personallu summer is my favorite season, but I also love the darkness and falling leaves of autumn, perfect season for drinking red wine and do something creative (indoors). ;)

In the wind of change

Yes! I finally did it! After three and a half months of juggling different part-time jobs I finally found permanent, full time job from my own field of expertise. ♥ Actually this was quite a surprise, since I just got a call from the CEO of this local advertising agency asking if I would like to come to a job interview. My previous teacher had recommended me and, well, a few days later I was there, working. :D Of course I have this four month try-out period but I just can't help but to be super-excited about this huge opportunity!

Truth to be told I was already getting a bit desperate, thinking of weather I should just find some other full time work (which basically means cleaning for me) to support myself and my little family, but I'm proud that I stayed strong and gained experience finding odd jobs that were supporting my chosen profession. Words cannot describe how happy and relieved I am! The office already feels like home to me, I really like the people I'm working with and I'm actually feeling really good and confident about the future.

Now I'm going to clean a bit and then just relax. I think I haven't felt this relaxed for months (over a year actually, haha) and I'm going to enjoy every second of it. Have a wonderfully relaxing weekend, dear readers. Good things come for those who wait. ♥

Dream Home Heartache

Ah! I have had really awesome couple of days! I got a call on Friday and it was the CEO of the advertising agency, where I used to be a trainee. I was asked to be a temp there again (I helped out a few weeks ago also) starting from Monday, so there I am once again, fondling InDesign, doing my dream job, yay! Ahhhhh what I would give to work there permanently, it really is my dream place to work. I hope I can at least be a temp there every now and then. :3

But yeah, I also have another agenda for this post! I finally got around taking photos of our new batcave, so a little show and tell can be arranged. I'm personally a huge fan of home decor, I love finding new pieces to our little home, especially second hand, and also reading and looking at pictures of other people's homes, especially gothic, victorian and fetish themed homes. If you know any good blogs, tumblrs or sites about beautiful home decor, please let me know! I would also love to see your homes. :) But now, it's picture time!

So this is what you see when you walk in! Shoes, pole, gaming Mr. Wolf... :D

And this, when you look back. Pretty bare still, I would like to get a new lamp at least, and maybe some small table on top of Béla's litter box. Then again I love the space, it is really handy when practicing burlesque routines!

A closer look of the living room/office/kitchen. We finally got a new couch when we moved in (for the cat to destroy, obviously, haha). ♥

My tiny work spot. I really need a bigger desk, but so far I haven't found a decent one, blah. I could move that one to entrance hall if I could find a replacement. :p

The kitchen. Love the tiles, the cupboard doors... not so much. But yeah, it's decent and surprisingly spacious. I would like to get more lime elements to it (haha, my secret love: neon colors ♥). 

And here's our living room from opposite direction. Got room for climbing on my pole, exercising, playing with Béla... Btw, gotta love Matlock. :D

Next up, toilet, shower and sauna. Super spacious, almost too spacious actually, otherwise really nice.Except that white floor! It get's stains really easily and I have already destroyed it a bit with hair dye... shiiiiiiiit.

Same room, another direction. I would love to get more storage spaces, like some sort of cabinet...

Last but not least: the bedroom. It's small, but I like it a lot. :3 Behind the bed we actually have a miniature fridge for storing cold drinks! :D Oh, the hedonism... ♥

Next to the door, my bone collection. ♥ And four very, very narrow cabinets for clothes! Definitely need more room for them... The cabinet for my fetish wear is actually in the entrance hall, next to our main door... u_u;

So! This is our new home. :3 What do you think? Also, I would love for you to show and tell me about your homes, rooms, cottages and, well, any house decor really! ♥

Le Chat Noir

Good morning! ^w^ As promised yesterday, today I want to make a post about our newest member of our family, this little ball of fur called Béla.

Béla is approximately 4 months old regular house cat and he has been living with us a little over a month. In the beginning of the summer two of our fiends' cats had kittens, one week apart from each other. Béla was from the later batch. The birth didn't go well, however. Béla was the only kitten that was born normally, the others had to be taken out by cesarean section and all but one of Bélas sisters had died. :( Fortunately Béla and his sister were ok, even though I was worried at first that there would be something wrong with Béla, since all the older kittens and Béla's sis too were really active, adventurous and feisty, while Béla was really shy and just wanted to be left alone by himself.

Well, as the kittens grew it became clear that Béla sure was different from the others, the other kittens kept playing and fighting with each other, but Béla just explored his surroundings by himself and when other kittens came to bug him he was just annoyed and ended up biting them! But there isn't anything wrong with him, he's just a loner I guess when it comes to other cats. :) Humans however are a different matter. He just loves attention, petting and being played with! Since I work at home it's sometimes quite difficult actually since he won't allow me to work in peace, but constantly tries to climb to my lap or purr at my feet or meow for attention. :D He also licks our faces and sleeps in our bed and even comes to sauna with us. xD

I'm really happy that we got him and couldn't imagine my life without him anymore! We had been talking about adopting a cat for a while and one day Wolf was visiting some friends who have two cats, one of them still a kitten, and he just decided that now is the right time. He called to our other friends, because he knew that they have kittens to ask if they had any black ones (since pretty much all textiles in our apartment are more or less black...) and they did! Well, actually Béla has some white in his chest and under his belly and that's why we decided to name him Béla. You see his fur remids me of the costume of Dracula played by Béla Lugosi. ;) I was kind of surprised when Wolf told me that he had reserved a kitten for us, but very happy nevertheless! He had thought that this "new baby" would be a good an anniversary gift for both of us and I agree 100%! I think he completes our family. ♥

These four photos were snapped by me, but my friend Pauli also took some photos of our fur child the other day, when we were photo shooting some other pictures as well, so these last pictures are taken by him. :3 Also, I'm going to make a separate post about the human pictures, so no worries, you'll see them too eventually!

© Pauli Tavasti

© Pauli Tavasti

© Pauli Tavasti

© Pauli Tavasti

© Pauli Tavasti

© Pauli Tavasti

Béla is our first pet that me and Wolf got together, but we have had other pets before him as well separately. I love all kinds of animals, but cats definitely have a special place in my little black heart. How about you readers, do you have pets or would you like to have them if you could? :)

Release the bats!

Hello again dear readers.

As you know this blog has been pretty much on hold the whole summer. Truth to be told I haven't felt like blogging for quite a while. I haven't felt motivated and so I have been avoiding it... but I have thought about the matter.

Obviously I have had some good reasons for not blogging. I have concentrated pretty much on my new work as a graphic designer / illustrator. Another very god reason is our new furry family member, a little black cat called Béla. I'm going to make a separate post about him later, so you just have to wait but yeah, he demands quite a lot of my time, and I really enjoy spending it with him, but of course that time must be taken out of something else. :)

The most pressing reason, however, is fear, at least I think so. Last spring I realized that there are indeed people out there who do not think too highly of me and since that harsh realization my self-esteem hasn't been what it used to be. I fear to speak out, I keep thinking what to say so carefully, for so long, and finally I end up saying nothing. In fear of criticism I have put up virtually no new photos of myself during summer on my Facebook. I have spent my days in jeans, ballerinas and cardigans nearly every day, instead of my beautiful gothic clothing, to blend in with the crowd. Well, I have had some good days, but mostly I have just felt very vary of my surroundings. Living life like this, however, has made me feel like I'm losing myself and turning into something dull and grey. I want to start living again, and I will. The old me is still here, hidden away in my batcave and now I'm releasing the bats!

This also means, that I will make this blog more personal and therefore interesting, well, that's what I think at least! I love to read blogs about daily lives of interesting people, but sadly this blog hasn't been like that for a long time. This is something I really want to improve in the future. :) So, as promised next post will be about our new kitten Béla, and after that I'm going to make a post about our new apartment. :) But I will return to that tomorrow, now I'm going to watch one more episode of Downton Abbey and go get some beauty sleep. :3

© Pauli Tavasti

Hush little baby don't say a word.
And never mind that noise you heard.
It's just the beast under your bed.
In your closet in your head!

Like a bat out of hell!

Long time no see, darklings!

I am sincerely sorry that I just vanished from the face of the internet, but I had some rather unexpected changes in my life recently. The biggest one of those was a sudden change of apartment! We had been living in our (now ex) apartment for a year and this whole time our sewers kept on giving us shit (yes, literally). We have had to call plumbers to out apartment probably over twenty times during the past year, often in the middle of the night, too. Finally our landlords suggested that we should move out to another apartment, so they can rip out the floors and really find out where the problem lies. Long story short we ended up changing the scenery a bit more than we intended at first, we now have a slightly bigger apartment, which is also nearer to the town center and almost next to a really nice graveyard. :) Moving was a real pain in the butt though, since we didn't exactly plan it, but we managed, thanks to our friends & family who helped out a lot.

We also ordered a new couch, which will arrive tomorrow, whee! It was sort of an anniversary gift from us, to us, since last Saturday me and Wolf had our anniversary (we have been together six years now ♥).

Besides the moving, I have had some pretty draining deadlines and stuff, but I'm just happy I have some work! It is not easy to find work as a graphic designer, with the economy like this and all, but I hope it'll get better in time. :)

Ahem... and the real reason I'm posting now is that I finally had time to edit some photos of my paintings in the Guilty Pleasures art exhibition. Some of the works I have shown you earlier in this entry, but here's all the new ones!

Strapping Young Man, 2013

Glossy, 2013

The Sacred Heart

Divine Punishment, 2013

Heavy Rubber, 2013

Hush, 2013

My Heart Will Go On, 2013

Spellbound, 2013

The Plea (Self Portrait), 2013

These Boots Aren't Made For Walking, 2013

Do tell me what you think of them, which is your favorite, would you have something like that hanging on your wall or do you do art yourselves? :)